@#($*&@#($& Allergies

[neebs]

To: Mother Nature
From: Me
Re: Your insane pollen counts

Due to the complete and utter lack of voice I have today, coupled with the need to speak to a group for about an hour later this afternoon, I am hereby DEMANDING that you cease and desist these ridiculous pollen counts and GIVE ME MY VOICE BACK. If you don't I am throwing all 8 bags of recycling in the trash instead of hauling them home in my car to better save your planet.

Thank you.

Comments

[ccohoon.livejournal.com]

From: Mother Nature
To: You
Re: [Your insane pollen counts] - Deal with it

Thanks you for your letter. I enjoy getting feedback from the little people. I'm sorry, but I can not help you with your problems. Perhaps if you had come to me in a civilized manner I would be more accommodating with you. However, I do not bend to the 'demands' of mere mortals.

You can do what you want with the recycling. It doesn't really matter to me. I existed long before you monkeys came on the scene and I'll exist long after you pollute yourselves to death. I'm actually looking forward to a break from you guys, so by all means don't recycle.

One other thing. I know it is a little inconvenient for you not to be able to talk, which you might think is a shame. I was talking to the Holy Spirit last night and (s)he said that there were a lot of prayer requests to 'limit your volume'. Take this time as an opportunity for silent self reflection.

Best wishes,
Mother Nature

oh man.

[jesabaseeba.livejournal.com]

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAH
This is one of the best series of posts I've ever seen. Good work guys.