ponderings...
Dec. 1st, 2003 11:01 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
neebsi find it very interesting that everyone has these long reflective posts from the holidays. but who cares, here's what i did. =P
wednesday, i got out of work at 3. the BW Parkway was a parking lot, so i hopped on 50 and headed to the 'rents. that turned out to be not the best idea, as several very stressful conversations resulted from this chance encounter.
1.) i mentioned that i found the PERFECT grad school program for me. and now it has been nonstop "did you apply yet? how are you going to afford it? you might have to move back home, you know. maybe you should get another job to start saving money."
2.) my mom wants to sign the car insurance over to me, starting Jan. 1. i was hoping to take 2 days off work to go to the Gator Bowl, but as this insurance will wipe out approximately 25% of my savings account, i'm guessing that frivolously spending money is probably not the smartest move right now.
3.) to sign the insurance over, i must be titled on the car. which will involve my purchasing the car from my dad, who wants the blue book value of the car for it. and there goes another 25% of my savings account.
*and let me just point out: the #1 stressful conversation was about me trying to SAVE money for grad school. also instigated by my parents. interesting how that works.*
after that, i headed to Burtonsville to hang with George and his sister and some friends. it was just G and i when i first got there, and he had a bad day with another exam, and i kinda broke down in tears recounting my wonderful conversations with my parents, so needless to say, i was not all that pumped for going out with people that night, but oh well. we went to a Korean place for dinner and i found i'm not such a fan of Korean food. we went back to G's house and he, Eugene, Nick and i played poker. i was only out $2 when we quit. i had been up since 6:30, since i had to go to work, so it got to be about 1 and i was DONE. i think the tiredness on top of the stress of the day caught up to me, and when George walked me to my car i ended up sobbing about all kinds of things. poor guy. seriously, i feel bad for people who have to deal with me sometimes. i can be a handful.
thursday was boring. we watched the Macy's parade, watched the Packers lose, ate dinner, watched 2 hours of Friend's repeats, ate dessert, and went to bed.
on wednesday, i had guilt-tripped George into spending all day Friday with me, so i was really looking forward to it. we had decided to get together kinda early in the day and go to the National Zoo, since i've only been once. things didn't go exactly as planned (read: not at ALL as planned) and i ended up at his house at 2:45, watching him fix his mom's car as it poured down rain. it was 3:30 by the time he was finished, and since the museums downtown close at 5, we decided it wasn't worth it to try and make it downtown. so we hung around his house until we headed to dinner. dinner was at this nice Italian place. we had fried calamari (squid) for an appetizer, and he made me eat the legs. i got one stuck in my teeth and it was an unpleasant experience. i had promised Rach that we would meet her, Dan and Sara in downtown CP for drinks, and i didn't really feel like going, but i sucked it up and we went anyway. and i had a BLAST! i thought it was just going to be a few of us, but it turned out that it was the whole crew. they had $2.50 Captain Morgan specials, i had plenty of people willing to buy me drinks, and the bouncers waived the cover to get upstairs and dance, so i was having a GRAND old time! i had to sit down after dancing for a few minutes because i SWORE i could feel the squid crawling back up out of my stomach, but after a few glasses of water and sitting down for a few minutes, i felt much better. i had SO MUCH FUN. when i finally got home about 4:15, Chris was just getting home as well, so we talked about stuff for a little while then finally headed to bed around 5.
saturday, i headed over to CP around 2:45 to meet up with TJ for the MD-Wake Forest game. we had to leave at the end of the first quarter to go to BWI to get Kym, but we listened to the rest of the first half on the radio. Kym's flight was delayed, so TJ and i found a tv with the game on. i kinda forgot that we were in a public place and most of the poor people waiting for the planes became very aware of my displeasure with the performance of our team. but we ended up winning, and that's all that matters. Kym finally got here, and then Meg's plane finally came in, so we headed to Odenton for a quick stop at TJ's house, then back to CP. Kym and TJ gave me a sympathy invite to dinner, which i quickly turned down, and it was back home for me. Chris and Chris Orlando were playing pool and after a phone call to George, i headed downstairs to chill with them. Orlando and i had some interesting relationship discussions, and it was determined that i give really great advice. (i decided that maybe i should learn to take my own advice, since i can usually offer it cuz i'm always in the same position and i know what i should be doing.) then Mark and Patti came over and we played Scattegories and watched some SNL. it was 1:30 before i could get to bed, and somewhere during Saturday i picked up a nasty cough and icky cold, so i didn't actually fall asleep until much later.
sunday was just not a good day for me. it started off at church, where our minister gave an example in the sermon about "Cindy, the high maintenance girl." my mom comes up to me after church and says "Did you hear him talk about you in the sermon?" and my dad smiles at me and says "Hi Cindy!" (ok, i admit it-that was funny.) a friend of my dad's came up to me and looks at me and says "Oh, did you just get up?" (aka, "Wow, you look like crap!") after church, Chris and i wrapped gifts for our christmas stockings, which wasn't too bad except that i hate wrapping gifts. and i suck at it, which also made me feel stupid. i had promised my mom i'd be home for dinner, so i was trying to get out of the house, but i kinda got sucked into White Oleander as Chris was watching it-until it got creepy. then i left. i was in a bad mood as i drove home, and as soon as i got home all i wanted to do was leave. i really wanted to snap at the first person i saw, but it was Danny, and that would have made me feel even worse, so i didn't. after dinner, we all sat around and i bitched about youth group and for some reason beyond my grasp, my mother just COULD NOT understand what Jes and i were trying to tell her about the kids in youth group. it was very frustrating. i finally left around 7:30 and stopped by K-Mart to pick up my pictures, which i thought would put me in a better mood. i didn't look at them until i got home, so it wasn't until i had left the store that i found out that they screwed up my negatives when the processed them. there is a HAIR on probably half of my pictures, and dust all over the WHOLE SET. i was SO upset i almost cried. a phone call to George went from ok to horrendous, and i hung up upset and crying for some reason that i still can't figure out.
i think i'm in a funk. i'm bored with my life, i hate my job, i haven't been anywhere or done anything in a while, and it's killing me. the best part about being in school was that i didn't do the same thing every day. when i was working all the time (like 9-3) over winter break and summer, i would go NUTS with the tedium. now, i'm working 8-5 and it is killing me. i guess it wouldn't be so bad if i was doing something i liked, but this is not it. everyone keeps telling me to get a hobby, but you can't just "get" a hobby. hobbies are things you like to do. i don't paint, i don't build model cars, i don't knit, i read all the time anyway...i'm thinking of signing up for volleyball for 2 nights when it starts again in January, but i don't know if that will fix it for me, either. blah. i don't know what's wrong, but i wish i knew how to fix it.
wednesday, i got out of work at 3. the BW Parkway was a parking lot, so i hopped on 50 and headed to the 'rents. that turned out to be not the best idea, as several very stressful conversations resulted from this chance encounter.
1.) i mentioned that i found the PERFECT grad school program for me. and now it has been nonstop "did you apply yet? how are you going to afford it? you might have to move back home, you know. maybe you should get another job to start saving money."
2.) my mom wants to sign the car insurance over to me, starting Jan. 1. i was hoping to take 2 days off work to go to the Gator Bowl, but as this insurance will wipe out approximately 25% of my savings account, i'm guessing that frivolously spending money is probably not the smartest move right now.
3.) to sign the insurance over, i must be titled on the car. which will involve my purchasing the car from my dad, who wants the blue book value of the car for it. and there goes another 25% of my savings account.
*and let me just point out: the #1 stressful conversation was about me trying to SAVE money for grad school. also instigated by my parents. interesting how that works.*
after that, i headed to Burtonsville to hang with George and his sister and some friends. it was just G and i when i first got there, and he had a bad day with another exam, and i kinda broke down in tears recounting my wonderful conversations with my parents, so needless to say, i was not all that pumped for going out with people that night, but oh well. we went to a Korean place for dinner and i found i'm not such a fan of Korean food. we went back to G's house and he, Eugene, Nick and i played poker. i was only out $2 when we quit. i had been up since 6:30, since i had to go to work, so it got to be about 1 and i was DONE. i think the tiredness on top of the stress of the day caught up to me, and when George walked me to my car i ended up sobbing about all kinds of things. poor guy. seriously, i feel bad for people who have to deal with me sometimes. i can be a handful.
thursday was boring. we watched the Macy's parade, watched the Packers lose, ate dinner, watched 2 hours of Friend's repeats, ate dessert, and went to bed.
on wednesday, i had guilt-tripped George into spending all day Friday with me, so i was really looking forward to it. we had decided to get together kinda early in the day and go to the National Zoo, since i've only been once. things didn't go exactly as planned (read: not at ALL as planned) and i ended up at his house at 2:45, watching him fix his mom's car as it poured down rain. it was 3:30 by the time he was finished, and since the museums downtown close at 5, we decided it wasn't worth it to try and make it downtown. so we hung around his house until we headed to dinner. dinner was at this nice Italian place. we had fried calamari (squid) for an appetizer, and he made me eat the legs. i got one stuck in my teeth and it was an unpleasant experience. i had promised Rach that we would meet her, Dan and Sara in downtown CP for drinks, and i didn't really feel like going, but i sucked it up and we went anyway. and i had a BLAST! i thought it was just going to be a few of us, but it turned out that it was the whole crew. they had $2.50 Captain Morgan specials, i had plenty of people willing to buy me drinks, and the bouncers waived the cover to get upstairs and dance, so i was having a GRAND old time! i had to sit down after dancing for a few minutes because i SWORE i could feel the squid crawling back up out of my stomach, but after a few glasses of water and sitting down for a few minutes, i felt much better. i had SO MUCH FUN. when i finally got home about 4:15, Chris was just getting home as well, so we talked about stuff for a little while then finally headed to bed around 5.
saturday, i headed over to CP around 2:45 to meet up with TJ for the MD-Wake Forest game. we had to leave at the end of the first quarter to go to BWI to get Kym, but we listened to the rest of the first half on the radio. Kym's flight was delayed, so TJ and i found a tv with the game on. i kinda forgot that we were in a public place and most of the poor people waiting for the planes became very aware of my displeasure with the performance of our team. but we ended up winning, and that's all that matters. Kym finally got here, and then Meg's plane finally came in, so we headed to Odenton for a quick stop at TJ's house, then back to CP. Kym and TJ gave me a sympathy invite to dinner, which i quickly turned down, and it was back home for me. Chris and Chris Orlando were playing pool and after a phone call to George, i headed downstairs to chill with them. Orlando and i had some interesting relationship discussions, and it was determined that i give really great advice. (i decided that maybe i should learn to take my own advice, since i can usually offer it cuz i'm always in the same position and i know what i should be doing.) then Mark and Patti came over and we played Scattegories and watched some SNL. it was 1:30 before i could get to bed, and somewhere during Saturday i picked up a nasty cough and icky cold, so i didn't actually fall asleep until much later.
sunday was just not a good day for me. it started off at church, where our minister gave an example in the sermon about "Cindy, the high maintenance girl." my mom comes up to me after church and says "Did you hear him talk about you in the sermon?" and my dad smiles at me and says "Hi Cindy!" (ok, i admit it-that was funny.) a friend of my dad's came up to me and looks at me and says "Oh, did you just get up?" (aka, "Wow, you look like crap!") after church, Chris and i wrapped gifts for our christmas stockings, which wasn't too bad except that i hate wrapping gifts. and i suck at it, which also made me feel stupid. i had promised my mom i'd be home for dinner, so i was trying to get out of the house, but i kinda got sucked into White Oleander as Chris was watching it-until it got creepy. then i left. i was in a bad mood as i drove home, and as soon as i got home all i wanted to do was leave. i really wanted to snap at the first person i saw, but it was Danny, and that would have made me feel even worse, so i didn't. after dinner, we all sat around and i bitched about youth group and for some reason beyond my grasp, my mother just COULD NOT understand what Jes and i were trying to tell her about the kids in youth group. it was very frustrating. i finally left around 7:30 and stopped by K-Mart to pick up my pictures, which i thought would put me in a better mood. i didn't look at them until i got home, so it wasn't until i had left the store that i found out that they screwed up my negatives when the processed them. there is a HAIR on probably half of my pictures, and dust all over the WHOLE SET. i was SO upset i almost cried. a phone call to George went from ok to horrendous, and i hung up upset and crying for some reason that i still can't figure out.
i think i'm in a funk. i'm bored with my life, i hate my job, i haven't been anywhere or done anything in a while, and it's killing me. the best part about being in school was that i didn't do the same thing every day. when i was working all the time (like 9-3) over winter break and summer, i would go NUTS with the tedium. now, i'm working 8-5 and it is killing me. i guess it wouldn't be so bad if i was doing something i liked, but this is not it. everyone keeps telling me to get a hobby, but you can't just "get" a hobby. hobbies are things you like to do. i don't paint, i don't build model cars, i don't knit, i read all the time anyway...i'm thinking of signing up for volleyball for 2 nights when it starts again in January, but i don't know if that will fix it for me, either. blah. i don't know what's wrong, but i wish i knew how to fix it.
