Toddler Fears

This cracked me up....

"Our toddler is terrified of pot holders, especially these two blue ones. Each time I try to take something hot out of the oven, I have to distract our son so he won't see the 'blue monsters.'" -- Faith, Connecticut

"Our 2-year-old daughter hates bubbles. My husband discovered this a year ago when he blew a bubble with his gum. She immediately became hysterical. Now, more than a year later, she's still leery of gum chewers." -- Melissa, Iowa

"One day while walking with my son, I noticed a beautiful butterfly. When I eagerly pointed it out to him, he started screaming and immediately ran to hide. I couldn't believe it. My little boy was afraid of butterflies. I laughed so hard, I had tears in my eyes!" -- Jaime, Florida

"My 10-month-old is terrified of pine trees. Any time he sees one, he'll cling to me or whoever is carrying him and bury his little face to cry." -- Melizza, Illinois

"Our toddler is afraid of aluminum foil and the sound it makes when I crumple it up to throw it away. Whenever he sees it in our kitchen, he makes a pout, which quickly turns into a wail!" -- Sara, New Jersey

"Our baby is scared of our door stopper. Anytime he sees it, he cries so hard he can hardly catch his breath. Now he's carefully crafted his daily crawling path to avoid this scary spot." -- Susan, Florida

"My 1-year-old is afraid of his grandmother's old-fashioned rotary telephone. Whenever we visit her and her phone rings, he cries and tries to run away. Though he gets very upset, it's actually pretty comical." -- Kristyle, Arkansas

"My daughter is deathly afraid of our vacuum cleaner. As soon as I turn it on, she gets a fearful look in her eyes and slowly moves away from it. However, once the vacuum has been turned off, she'll walk around it, examining every inch. She's fearless as long as it's silent." -- Dee, Texas

Why God made Mums

This was cute, too.

Why did God make mothers?
1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my Mum just the same like he made me. He Just used bigger parts.

What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.

Why did God give you Your mother & not some other mum?
1.We're related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's mums like me.

What kind of little girl was your mum?
1. My mum has always been my mum and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.

What did mum need to know about dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to earn pocket money?

Why did your mum marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mum eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that Mum didn't have her thinking cap on.

Who's the boss at your house?
1. Mum doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's Gooffy.
2. Mum. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess Mum is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.

What's the difference between mums & dads?
1. Mums work at work and work at home & dads just go to work at work.
2. Mums know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but mums have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.
4. Mums have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.

What does your mum do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your mum perfect?
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your Mum, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
2. I'd make my Mum smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.